Sunday, May 11, 2014

Roller Coaster Ride


Where do I start? Jane flew home on April 22, landed in Erie at 4:30 pm on the 23th and was at the Cleveland Clinic for testing on Thursday the 24th. By 11:00am she called and said that “they are concerned”. After the sonogram and other tests she was off to meet with a surgeon. They scheduled a needle biopsy for Friday April 25 and told her that it looked like cancer but could not be sure until Monday and it would not be until her next visit with the “team” on May 8th that they would know more specifics. Jane does have a form of aggressive breast cancer but everyone is confident that it has been detected early enough and treatable. I need to say that I believe that God orchestrated all of this to come together so quickly is testament that He is in control of the situation. Jane has been very positive and strong through all of this even taking a day to go try on wigs, as she starts chemo in two weeks. 

Sammy and I were doing quite well here in Haiti. As I was packing some tools to take out for the summer Jane I talked daily, it was becoming apparent that Jane’s treatments and subsequent weakened health would last for well over a year. It soon became apparent that we shouldn’t invest a good sum of money into our car’s transmission if we would be coming back to sell it later at a loss. Our direction soon changed, we would not be able to pay our rent, and housing obligations here if our time out might be lengthy or returning full time might not even be feasible. I was able to get extra weight reserved on Missionary Flights for my flight out on the 13th. I have our belongings completely packed, we are moving back to our home in Pennsylvania, at least for now.

In January Jane and I committed to each other to continue here until May 2016 then take reconsider, obviously God is closing that door. It has been a roller-coaster ride of emotions for the past three weeks now. I am always anxious when it gets close to departure date but this time with Sammy it has been very emotionally draining. We always knew that a separation date would come and be difficult. He is so attached to both of us especially Jane. No matter what the reason I know that Sammy will not understand, but also on the other hand maybe at his age he might not remember all of it.  I look back now and believe that God had planned this three week transition so that it could be a little easier on the little guy.

This morning while sitting in the dark God brought to mind the book; The Shack, when the father was angry at God and asked how he [God] could allow his young daughter to go through such a horrific time by herself, God answered he was by her side and comforted her through all of it, she was never alone. This was a confirmation to me that God will in some way comfort Sammy as I take him to his caregivers tomorrow and be with him over the next days.

I look back over the past 21 months that we have been back in Haiti with World Outreach Ministries and we have had the blessing and enjoyment of rescuing and raising Sammy for 18 of those months, was this His intended purpose for us? Juslain will tell you that God sent us to mentor and be a father figure to him, only God knows for sure.

I do have faith that God did not rescue Sammy just to let him fall through the cracks. I really believe that his adoption will start to move ahead now, but I also know that my thoughts and dreams for Sammy might not be God’s plan. I believe that God loves him much more than I could ever equal or imagine.

Jane plans to continue to work with the Potter’s House orphanage by having people in Haiti do the food purchases and deliveries while she watches over things by long distance.  We plan to return some day but probably for short visits to help where we can. We also plan to get involved back home wherever we can.

Thank-You for your many thoughts & and prayers, it has been carrying us through this difficult time.

Bud

No comments: